Monday November 26, 2018

 

In all probability, few things cause more confusion than the relationships between men and women. I am not speaking solely in the context of romantic relationships. Just about anywhere there is a man and a woman relating to each other, more than likely you are going to find pure confusion. The problem is not that men and women don’t know each other; in actuality, they know each other very well. The problem stems from their lack of understanding of each other. At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, in a very general sense, I would like to explain what is perhaps the biggest reason for so much confusion.

 

 

… husbands should understandand respect their wives. – 1 Peter 3:7 NLV

 

This is where most relational problems between men and women begin, men are supposed to understand women. However, most don’t have the slightest idea what women truly want. Men can listen to every word a woman says and not have a clue what it is they are saying.

 

Understanding Women

 

Generally speaking, women tend to approach the highs and lows of life externally and are more expressive about issues. Women want to talk about everything, especially about those things that concern them. The more something concerns them, the more they want to talk about it. But when a woman expresses her concern, it doesn’t always mean that she is expecting a man to do something about it. Sometimes she is simply processing the situation and the way she does it is by talking about it. This can be very confusing for most men because most men think that every time a woman expresses her concerns, she is expecting him to deal with the situation; because women process externally.

 

Understanding Men

 

Men in general tend to have an internal approach to life. The more something concerns a man, the less he wants to talk about it. Men are programmed to analyze things, to figure out winning strategies. Once they have figured out the situation, then they are ready to talk. This can be very confusing to women because a woman will incorrectly interpret a man’s silence to mean that he just doesn’t care. Understanding men requires that we understand that men’s silence is not always a signal that he doesn’t care; many times its simply understanding that women process externally and men process internally.

 

Relational Harmony

 

The truth is that men and women are programmed differently and this causes a lot of confusion in the relationship. The way to create relational harmony is by prioritizing understanding above being understood. The more men and women dedicate themselves to being understood, the more confusing the relationship. The more a woman dedicates herself to understanding men, and the more a man dedicates himself to understanding women, the more harmonious the relationship.