Forgiving
Wednesday April 5, 2017
“Happy are those who work for peace” – Matthew 5:9 TEV
Forgiving the person who wronged or hurt you can be an extremely hard thing to do. To forgive the person who abused you emotionally or physically is not easy. It is a monumental task to forgive the person who lied to you, cheated on you, or who deceived you. Nonetheless, you must remember that forgiveness is not given for the benefit of the offender but rather for the benefit of the person who has been offended. When you do not forgive anger and resentment begin to immediately flood your heart and these emotions are toxic and will cause you to wrong the people closest to you. However, when forgiveness is done the right way, it will transform the way you live as the anger and resentment is replaced by peace and happiness.
Three Steps of Forgiveness
- Reveal my hurts.
You will never heal until you acknowledge that you are ill and you will never get over your pain until you admit that it hurts. You can ignore and suppress your hurts but in the short and long term this will become problematic. The best thing you can do with your hurts is to reveal them; remember that the things you ignore do not get better.
- I release the offender.
Once you have confessed your hurts you should immediately forgive the offender. Often times the offender has moved on and pays no mind to what has been ailing you. It is also possible in some cases that the person who has offended you has passed away so it makes no sense to try and collect from someone who is no longer present. Do not wait for the offender to seek forgiveness remember that you are doing this for your sake.
“‘How many times should I forgive someone who sins against me?’ … ‘Not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven.’” – Matthew 18:21-22 NLT
Forgiveness takes time and sometimes this can mean hours, days, weeks, months, and even years. You will know however that you have completely released the offender when it does not hurt anymore.
- I replace my hurts with God’s peace.
Once you have released the offender there will be an open space in your heart where your hurt was lodged, God wants to fill that space with His peace.
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” – Colossians 3:17 NIV
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19 NIV
The goal is not to try and please everyone. The goal is to do what is right, honorable, and above criticism for the sake of your own personal healing.
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Robert Cruz Jr.
Bobby Cruz Jr. became Senior Pastor of CDA Miami in 1999, continuing the work that his father, Bobby Cruz began in 1980. Bobby Jr. is an engaging speaker whose passion is to lead people in a growing relationship with Jesus. He has five children and he lives with his wife Ana in Doral, FL.