The people we love and the way we love them is usually response driven. We tend to love those who think like us. We also tend to act towards others the same way they act and respond to us. If you respect me I’ll respect you, if you don’t respect me I wont respect you. If you’re good to me I’ll be good to you, If you treat me badly, I’ll treat you badly. If you love me I will love you, if you don’t love me I wont love you. I call this “the tit-for-tat way of loving”.

Luke 6:27-36 MSG

“To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.“I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.”

It’s no secret that the people we love and how much we love them is for the most part based on how they act towards us. It seems to be that we’ve been programed to love based on the way in which we respond to each other. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that God wanted me to love people whether they deserved it or not. Loving others that way seemed to be both unjust and impossible, it felt hypocritical too. The good news is that God does not want us to love people based on our reaction to them or based on their reactions towards us. It’s simple, God wants us to love others based on our reaction towards Him. Who we love and how much we love them should be a direct reaction to the way in which God loves and continues to love us.

Heavenly Father, the way you think is different from how I think. I need to renew my mind and think differently about how and why I love others. When it comes to loving, let me think as you think and do as you do.