In the late 1970’s ABC’s Wide World of Sports introduced us to the phrase, “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat”. For more than forty years this catchphrase has remained relevant; games shows, books and even messages describing the life and death of Jesus have been titled after it. The reason for its success is that the phrase transcended from the sports arena into every area of life. In one way or another everyone can relate to the positive emotions of winning and the negative emotions of defeat. 

The truth is that you’re at your best when you are winning. Winning builds confidence and a sense of purpose and worth. In sports, in academics and in business the win is clearly defined. But when it comes to the most important areas of life, most people don’t have a clearly defined win. Most people commit the mistake of confusing a goal with a win, but goals are merely steps that lead to winning. Getting married may seem like a win but living a successful marriage is actually the win. Having children may seem like a win but raising successful children is the real win. That’s why before you can live a successful life you first have to define the win. 

In the most important areas of your life you must ask yourself, what’s the win? What does a successful marriage look like? What’s the ultimate goal in raising children? I’ll give you an example. For my wife and I the win for us in raising our children was that as they grew older, they would want to spend time with us. We understood that as long as we had a relationship with them that relationship would afford us influence. All of our children are adults and in spite of the fact that their lives have moved in different directions, as parents we feel successful because to this day they love spending time with us and we with them.  

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. – Romans 8:37 NIV

God created you to win and no matter how many curveballs life may throw at you, winning is supposed to be your destiny. But let me be honest, winning does not come easy, you have to work at it and the very first thing you must do is to define the win. You must ask yourself, what is the win? If you’re married or going to get married, what’s the win for your marriage? If you have or plan on having children, what’s the win in raising your children? And in every area of life that’s important you must ask yourself, what’s the win?