Wednesday November 21, 2018

 

Let’s be real, most people marry for selfish reasons. Just ask any engaged couple to tell you why they are getting married. Most will answer, “Because I love him or her”. Then ask them why do you love him or her? Most will say, because they make me happy. Finally, ask them why they make you happy? Let me give you the answer to the last question, because they believe that the other person is going to fulfill their expectations of marriage.

 

As I’ve stated though out this blog series, whenever expectations enter into a marriage, whether you know it or not, you have created a debt to debtor relationship. It becomes a marriage more reflective of a contractual agreement than a covenant between two people. A contractual agreement is one that focuses on personal interests. It is an agreement that says, I will do if you do, but if you don’t I won’t. A covenant agreement focuses on the relationship. Most covenant agreements are a promise that I will do even if you won’t.

 

A contractual marriage is the norm, but achieving a covenant marriage is nearly impossible. As a matter of fact, it is so difficult that it requires a third person. The Bible describes marriage as two people who are mutually submitted to each other: women submitting to their husbands as if they were submitting to the Lord. And husbands loving their wives the same way Jesus loved the church and sacrificed everything for her. Again, let’s be real, women don’t want to submit to men and men don’t want to give up their life, (sports, computers, friends…) for a woman.

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21 NIV

 

In my humble opinion, the only way to achieve a covenant relationship is out of reverence for Christ, the one who gave up his life and died for all of us. Let’s look at a marriage that includes Christ in it: wives submitting to their husbands as unto the Lord out of reverence for Christ. When wives submit to their husbands they are actually submitting and revering the Lord. Husbands loving their wives on a daily basis and giving up their lives for them the same way Jesus gave his life and died for us. When husbands do this, they are actually honoring and revering Christ’s sacrifice for us.

 

 

If this whole concept of a covenant marriage and mutual submission is troubling to you, before you discard the possibility of a covenant marriage, let me give you the most important reason why you should consider it.  God is a spiritual being not a human being. But God created us both human and spiritual beings, and he created us to have a personal relationship, to love us as both spiritual and human beings. Whenever we feel God’s loving presence in our lives, in church, while we pray, or while we listen to worship music, that is God’s way of demonstrating his love for us spiritually. But God wants us to feel how much He loves us in our physical being as well and the way he achieves this is through mutual submission out of reverence for Christ.

 

It is as though God is asking us do you love me? How much do you love me? To which most would answer, Lord after what you did for me, I love you with all my heart. Ok, the Lord says, now “I want you to take all that love you feel for me and deposit it on your spouse. The way you show me how much you love me is by how much you are willing to love your spouse. I have chosen you to be an instrument of my unconditional love for your spouse.” In a covenant marriage, you have been chosen by God to be a physical instrument of his unconditional love.

 

Wow! God truly loves us.

 

Heavenly Father, I want to be an instrument of your unconditional love. I love you with all my heart, and I want to demonstrate that love for you by loving my spouse unconditionally. Lord, fill me spiritually, and let your love for me flow in and through me so that Christ is honored in my marriage. I thank you for your word and ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen